Jin's Random SuperDooper Adventure
by Kayochen
Summary: Eegad! Another annoying and totally unfunny Tekken play' I hear you cry! Weeeell, this is true, but read it anyway! You know you want to.
1. Death of Humphrey

I've been working hard to bring you the funniest Tekken fic possible! Well, maybe it's not quite that funny but you have the Kayochen seal of approval that this will not be just another nonsensical Tekken play. . . come to think of it that is just about the definition of this story. Buuuuuuut, I've worked very hard on it so it should be good! Please R/R.

Disclaimer: I don't, funnily enough, own the rights to Tekken or Wonder Woman, but if I did, you know there'd be some marmalade in there somewhere. But I do own Humphrey, so back off you Humphrey robbing cheese-mungers!

Kayochen Seal of Approval

,,^. .^,,

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Jin's Random and Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure

Death of Humphrey

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Jin sits at the kitchen table eating a bowl of sugar-frosted binkies whilst talking to the cartoon cuckoo mascot on the box.

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Jin: Hey, Cooky Cuckoo, who's the best guy in the world?

_(doing a cuckoo voice)_ Why you of course, Jin! It was wrong of Xiayu to dump you. In fact, if I were you, I'd go murder her right now! See that big shiny meat cleaver over there?--

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Jin pauses and looks up to see his mother standing in the doorway. He blushes, shuffles embarrassedly and leaps through the window.

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Jin: _(mid-leap) _You'll never catch me, Wonder Woman, for I am the ginger-bread maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. . . . . OW!

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Jun sticks her head through a big Jin-shaped hole in the window.

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Jun: Jin? Are you okay?

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Jin: _(writhing in pain in a pool of marmalade [Author's Note: we've gotta keep this fic a G])_ _(weakly) _Uh-huh.

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Jun: Well, there's something you should know. . . . . . Humphrey. . . . . Humphrey has been murdered.

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She holds up the corpse of a worm.

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Jin: Not Humphrey!!

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He breaks down in tears and grabs Jun by the neck.

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Jin: _(subconsciously shaking his mother violently from side to side) _Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?!

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Jin opens his eyes to see his mother's strangled corpse dangling out of the window. [A.N.: so much for that G rating]

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Jin: No! What kind of animal took advantage of my state of mourning to kill my mother?!

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Turns to see Pumba, Alex, Panda, Roger and Gon standing in a row. They immediately point at one-another.

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Jin: _(looking up at the sky dramatically) _I will avenge you Humphrey! . . . Oh yeah, and Mom.

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At that moment, a bird doo lands right on his face.

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Jin: _(wiping his eye) _It's a sign from above. . . . Cooky Cuckoo! But what can it mean?

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Jin runs to the kitchen and grabs the cereal box.

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Jin: What should I do, Cooky Cuckoo?

_(doing a Cooky Cuckoo voice) _Become a super-hero, Jin. Avenge Humphrey, avenge Mom and kill Xiayu!

_(back to Jin) _I'll do it! Thank-you Cooky Cuckoo!

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He sprints upstairs.

Kazuya enters and looks over to the window only to see the corpse!

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Kazuya: _(in tears) _Noooooooooooooo! Why? Why did you have to die? _(sobbing melodramatically) _Humphreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy!

* * *

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Outside Jin's door, there is the sound of shuffling, a cat howling in pain and an old lady shouting 'Shut up, you bum!'.

Finally Jin emerges from his room adorning a ra-ra skirt, fishnet tights, a top hat and a Halloween cloak, whilst brandishing a frightened ferret [Legal Note: the author of this fic does not in any way promote the brandishing of frightened ferrets].

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Jin: In my super-hero form of 'Super Jin' no one will guess my real identity!

Now to fly to the home of the most likely suspect, my arch enemy 'Stupid Pants Hwoarang'!

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Jin leaps through the window (again), ready to fly. The only problem being that Jin, although talented in many other areas, cannot fly. He plummets to the ground and lands in a lump of Jin on the patio.

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Jin: Hmmm, my flight powers must need rebooting.

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The author throws Jin a boot.

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Jin: Oh HA HA HA! Very funny! My sides are splitting with the hilarity of it all -- in fact, it's so funny, I think I might very well die right now!

How's that for sarcasm!?

Anywho, since my flight power is down, I'll just have to take the Jin-Mobile!

* * *

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Jin is sitting on a bus receiving many curious, disgusted and horny glances from the other passengers.

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TO BE CONTINUED. . .

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[Will Jin Beat up Hwoarang? Will he avenge Humphrey? Will this story ever make sense? Will I ever find my trousers? Will I ever SHUT-UP??? All this and more will be revealed in the next exciting instalment of 'Jin's Random and Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure'!!!!!!!]

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You've laughed, you've cried, you've reeled in horror at the thought that anyone could have such a blatant disregard for human sanity, now there's only one thing left to do! Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Super Jin

Thanks loads to the people who reviewed!

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Jenna21 Thank you muchos! I too thought the bird doo was a master stroke! Hee hee.

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Kantwon Very true.

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ChibiShiva I'm glad you like it so much! I aim to please (though whether I achieve this or not is up to debate). ^ ^

£££££££££££££££££

Super Jin

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Jin is still sitting on the bus, juggling his ferret.

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Jin: AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH! That was Stupid Pant Hwoarang's house 2 doors back!

Stop dammit, stoooooop!

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He leaps through the window (yet again) and runs to Hwoarang's house.

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Jin: Now to beat my arch-enemy to a marmalade-sodden pulp!

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He rings the doorbell.

Hwoarang answers the door.

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Jin: Stupid Pants Hwoarang! You're naked!

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Hwoarang: No I'm not.

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Jin: Oh, sorry, must've just been me fantasising again.

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Hwoarang: Wha?

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Jin: Marmalade.

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Hwoarang: Look, could you please tell me what it is you want, I got a chick upstairs.

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Jin: Hey! You really are naked!

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Random girls appear from behind various bushes.

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Hwoarang: I joined a nudist colony, okay!! Now can you please just tell me what you want 'cos I'd really like to--

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Mysterious girl's voice from upstairs: Hwoarang sweetums? Come here, I've got a surprise for you.

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Hwoarang: Hold on a sec, Xia-- err Cindy.

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[Not very] mysterious girl's voice: What? But my name's--

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Hwoarang: Cindy, if you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all!!

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'Cindy' (yah rite!): But--

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Hwoarang: Shut-up now, Cindy!

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Hwoarang to turns back to see a leaf being held in front of his crotch by Jin.

Bakka!

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He slams the door on Jin.

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Jin: _(peeping through the letter box) _Hwoarang? Hwoarang, the door blew shut, Hwoarang?

Darn! Looks as if someone tipped him off. Very well-- I will use my X-ray vision to discover what sinister errrrr. . . stuff he's doing.

_He stares at the wall for a few days._

Hmmm, guess my X-ray vision needs rebooting too.

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He straps on a helmet as a boot flies at his head.

I have only one choice!

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And just when you thought this story was getting repetitive, he jumps through the window!

He runs upstairs and bursts into the room.

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Jin: You can't escape now, Stupid Pants Hwoarang!

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He looks down to see a middle-aged red-head couple who are simply staring at the Japanese boy in a ra-ra skirt, spinning a ferret around his head who has just flung open their bedroom door.

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Ma Hwoarang: Uh-- H. . . Hwoarang is in his room studying wi, with his friend.

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Jin: Thank-you, Goddess of Goose!

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He rolly-pollys down the corridor

After bursting in on a few more middle-aged red-head couples, Jin finally reaches Hwoarang's room, only to find him and Xiayu kanoodling! [clean kanoodling, mind, let's not get dirty, People].

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Jin: Ee-gad! My arch rival Stupid Pant Hwoarnag kanoodling with my back-stabbing ex-sidekick Poo Faced Xiayu Grrl!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. . .

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Xiayu: Jin, take a breath, you're turning purple.

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Jin: . . .oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo--

_He drops to the floor unconscious and a rather lovely maroon colour._

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TO BE CONTINUED. . .

[Last chapter I told you you'd find out whether Jin beats up Hwoarang. . . but you didn't. . . . . . . well, I guess this story has a moral in that case: Don't trust me. But don't trust me on that. ^ ^]

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Thanks again for the reviews! But remember, reviews are my life-source; I am hooked up to a review drip right now. So please _(obtains kindly, charity ad voice) _give just 1 review a chapter, or whatever you can spare. With your one review a story, we can afford more chapters, and perhaps that brain surgery that Kayochen so desperately needs. Please, review. Thank-you.

Ya-know, poo isn't in the Oxford English Dictionary according to spell-check.


	3. Disaster aka Jin Strikes

Hello again! Sorry I haven't updated for so long but I've been busy enjoying my half term! *boogies at the fabulosity of it all*. I was however much saddened to find that I had no reviews for the last chapter *sniffles* so you'd better review this one!!! Enjoy!

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Disaster (a.k.a. Jin) Strikes

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Hwoarang: Jin! What the Hell are you doing here?!

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Jin: Just what I was about to ask you.

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Hwoarang: I live here, you Meatloaf!

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Jin: Enough chit-chat, Stupid Pants Hwoarang, let's boogie, put the pedal to the metal, get down and dirty, stop beating around the bush, cut to the chase--

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Xiayu: Jin, why are you wearing my skirt?

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Jin: Take that, Fiends!

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He throws his ferret at Hwoarang.

As the ferret hits Hwoarang, he falls to the ground writhing in pain. Suddenly, light bursts from the ferret. He begins to grow and transform as he and Hwaorang combine.

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Hwoarang: So, you discovered my true identity, Jin--

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Jin: Super Jin.

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Hwoarang: Sorry. Super Jin. But little did you know that by flinging that hamster--

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Jin: Ferret.

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Hwoarang: Whatever! Well, that ferret unleashed my true powers! I am now Stupendous Ferrang!--

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Jin: Stupid Pants Ferrang.

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Hwoarang: I'm this close to hitting you.

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Xiayu: I'm confused.

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Jin: _(to Xiayu) _You!I'm gunna do what I should have done a long time ago, Poo-Faced Xiayu Grrl!

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Jin whips out a half-finished sock and begins to knit with 'Knitting for Wannabe Super Heroes: Volume I' in his hand.

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Hwoarang: What are you doing?!

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Jin: Knitting.

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Xiayu: Why?

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Jin: Because I should have learnt to knit a long time ago.

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Hwoarang: _(sweat drop) _Can we get back to fighting?

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Jin pulls on his completed sock.

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Jin: Fine! Bring it on.

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Hwoarang rips off his shirt a` la Incredible Hulk.

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Xiayu: Ewwwwwwww! Combining with that ferret has made you all hairy! Um. . . . . . . I'm sorry but this just isn't working out, Hwoarang, it's me, not you -- IIIII'm . . . . .dead! Maybe we can still be friends, on second thought let's not. . . . . good-bye.

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Leaps through window a` la Jin.

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Jin: Well that was disturbed.

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Hwoarang: Now let's get back to our battle!

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Jin: Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I'm not in the mood any more.

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Hwoarang: But, but, but we just spent all that time phsycin' eachother out.

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Jin: Yeah, but all that knitting's worn me out! I'm gunna whoop yo' ass later!

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Hwoarang: Shut up, Jin! And gimme back my fishnet tights.

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Jin: _(lip quiver) _B-but you g-gave them to me, remember? I thought we had something special last night!

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Hwaorang: Er, Jin, that's the other fic.

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Jin: What?! Urgh! My agent is so fired.

Fine! Have your dumb tights back! See what I care!

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He leaps through the window crying tears of rage and lands in an unusual position in the rentaloo Hwoarang's parents have moved into for fear that more fishnet-clad schoolkids will invade their room.

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Hwoarang: Hey, Dumbass! My parents are living in there!

_There is no reply._

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Hwoarang: Jin?!

* * *

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An ambulance arrives at Hwoarang's house.

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Ambulance driver: _(to Hwoarang) _It's a good thing you called, or your friends here--

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Jin: _(weakly) _He didn't call, I did. _(cough cough, wheeze wheeze)_

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Hwoarang: Maybe so, but I was doing everything in my power to help you.

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Jin: No you weren't -- after you clung to my leg by your teeth as I dragged my marmalade-sodden body to the phone, you were beating me with a stick and trying to wrestle the phone out of my hands.

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Hwoarang: Well all's well that ends well.

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Jin: What?! Number 1) it's not the end (as long a this fic keeps getting lotsa flattering reviews, hint hint) and, number 2) it's not all well by any breach of reality-- I'm seriously injured and I think Xiayu is mutating.

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Hwoarang: . . . . . . . . . . I loathe you.

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TO BE CONTINUED. . .

[Will Jin be okay?! Will Xiayu mutate?! Will Hwoarang EVER get beaten to a marmalade-sodden pulp?! Why were we put on this earth?! All* these questions will be answered in the next grape smooshling chapter of Jin's Random and Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure!]

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*whips out hipno-disc* You are feeling generous, veeeeery generous -- you will review the story and put Kayochen on your favourite authors list, oooooooo.

*The reason we were put on this earth is very likely to not be revealed. . . we lied.


	4. H to the O to the S to the P to the I to...

Hee hee, this chapter is going to be drama-filled! But I'm not going to tell you what happens, if you want to find out just read this chapter (and review!).

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Serena the WaveTrapmaster: I wave my magic fairy god-mother wand and poof, your wish is granted, a new chapter.

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Kawaii Ed: Noooo! Can't resist puppy-dog pout, AAAAHHH!

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Niki: Glad you like the story so much, thank-you!

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H to the O to the S to the P to the I to the T to the A to the L (Try Saying That 5x Fast!)

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In a hospital (who saw that coming!?). Jin lies in one bed in a cartoon-style body-cast. Xiayu seems to have got off easier, after all, she hadn't already leapt through the window 4 times in this fic. She is wearing only a leg-cast and a few bandages.

Hwoarang enters with a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates.

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Hwoarang: _(to Jin) _Hey, Turd-Breath, d'you want these chocolates I brought you?

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Jin: _(muffled by his bandages) _Hm-mphmn, glumphm!

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Hwoarang: What? I can't hear you.

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Jin: Hggnphyalmphi!

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Hwoarang: What's that? I can have some? Thanks Buddy!

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Jin: _(obviously furious)_ Hgmp! Nphmghppa!

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Hwoarang begins to eat the chocolates one by one.

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Hwoarang: Oooooooone, mmmmmm! Delicious! Umm-hmm! Are you sure you don't want one, Jin?

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Jin: AAUUGGMMPPHH!!!!!!!

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Hwoarang: . . . twoooooooo, MMMM! Oh, Jin, you're missing out! These are by far the best chocolates I've ever eaten! Mm-mm-mm!

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Jin's life support system goes dead.

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Xiayu: Errrrr, Hwoarang?

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Hwoarang: _(with his face full of chocolate) _Uh-huh?

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Xiayu: Can I have one?

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Anna enters the ward in a nurse outfit.

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Anna: Not again!

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She kicks Jin in the stomach, his life-support system begins to beat regularly again.

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Xiayu: Anna? I didn't know you were a nurse.

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Anna: Yeah! What did you think I do between tournaments, just slut around being a slut?

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Xiayu: Well, yes.

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Hwoarang, seeing an opportunity, grabs Jin's cheeks in one hand and pushes them together to make his lips move.

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Hwoarang: _(pretending to be Jin) _Oh, Anna! You saved my life! Marry me! . . . . . . . . . . .And I'm a big doo-doo head.

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Anna: Oh Jin! You mean it?!

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Jin's eyes are wide as he shakes his head furiously.

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Hwoarang: _(still doing Jin's voice) _Oh yes, I wanna have your baby!

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Anna: _(not noticing the lack of logic, and grammar, in Jin's last sentence) _Oh Jin! Of course I'll marry you!

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She glomps Jin, who screams in pain.

_(seductively) _Maybe later we can play doctors and nurses. _(winks)_

Jin's life support system goes dead again. Anna is about to kick him when Hwoarang interrupts.

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Hwoarang: Allow me.

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He kicks Jin repeatedly in the stomach. The life-support machine bleeps back into life. Hwoarang kicks him some more.

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Xiayu: I think he's okay now, Hwoarang.

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Hwoarang: _(in rhythm with his kicks) _Better-safe-than-sorry.

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He finally stops.

(to Xiayu) Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Here, I bought you these.

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He hands Xiayu the flowers.

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Xiayu: They're lovely! Thank-you Hwoarang.

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A voice from outside: Hey! What happened here?? Someone's completely ransacked the flower-beds!

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Hwoarang: Errrrrr, I'd better go.

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He leaps through the window.

Byyyyyyyyyyyyye. . . Ouch!

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Xiayu: _(to Anna) _D'you think we should have mentioned to him that we're on the 13th floor.

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Anna: Nah, I don't think he's superstitious.

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TO BE CONTINUED. . . 

[Dum dum dum!! And so the saga continues! Will Jin marry Anna? Will Hwoarang and Xiayu ever get back together? Will Hwoarang even live?? Find out in the next chin-tingling chapter of Jin's Random and Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure!]

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Yay! I finally got this chapter written up! Now, you know what you've got to do, don't you? that's right!! Review like there's no tomorrow!!!!


	5. My HalfDevil, Japanese, Game Character F...

I'm back! ^.^ Thanks a bunch for all the great reviews, it's nice to be appreciated for the genius I am, lol.

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Makaveli: I hope you're enjoying this as much as I enjoyed your fic!

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Serini the WaveTrapmaster: I'm sure Jin and Hwoarang. . . well maybe not Hwoarang. . . but I'm sure Jin is very appreciative of his new weapon, I'll try to include it in the fic at some point.

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Kawaii Ed: Hee hee, I like that line too, read this chapter for more illogical plot holes and really dumb one-liners!

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My Half-Devil, Japanese, Game-Character Friend's Wedding

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Jin is standing in front of a mirror in a tux.

The clone of Jun created by doctor Bosanosavitch [can't be arsed to check the spelling] enters.

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Jun: Oh, Jin! You look so cute! I can't believe you're finally getting married, I mean, you're not getting any younger.

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Jin: I'm only 18.

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Jun: Yeah, and we allllll believe you, Jin. Anyway, I'm just so happy that you're getting married, my little iddy-biddy Jinny all grown up and--

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Jin: Mom, there's something I should tell you -- I don't want--

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Jun: . . . because I'm soooooooooooooo pleased you're getting married! And if, for any reason, you were to tell me that you didn't want to marry Anna I think I would drop down and die. Literally, DIE.

Now, what were you going to tell me?

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Jin: Um, I don't want to . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . postpone the wedding, let's have it right now!

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Jun: You mean it, Jin?! I'll go call everyone!

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She leaps through the window. (do none of these people know how to use a door??).

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Jin: Out of all the things I could have said in that situation, that was probably the worst.

* * *

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A bunch of rowdy Tekken fighters, a few Jin/Jun/Kazuya lookalikes and a few members of the very exclusive club of which Anna is president, Whores 'R' Us, have been assembled in a make-shift church (ie. Heihachi's shed).

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Paul: Shouldn't we have a priest or something?

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A few seconds later, Paul has returned from his trip to the fancy-dress shop plus library adorning a pope outfit whilst trying to balance a Bible on his head.

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Nina: _(with a very Oirish accent) _What are you doin' noi?

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Paul: Is this a trick question? I'm balancing the Bible on my doo. The Bible has to be kept above everything else in the room.

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Kunimitsu: That's the Qua'ran, Idiot!

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Ganryu: _(who is occupying the back row in its entirety) _The Mishimas aren't even Christian.

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Paul: What about Anna?

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Yoshimitsu: Yeah, are you Catholic or Protestant, Nina? It's a big political issue in Irland, don'tcha know.

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All the characters whip out talk-show type glasses and begin nodding at everything, including the spaces between sentences, and laughing at stuff which, not only is not funny, but makes no sense.

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Nina: _(still very Oirish) _This is no toime for political debates about the affars of Oirland, we've got a weddin' to sit tru!

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Heihachi: Yeah! I'm late for my appointment to get another shot of D.T.K.A.F.A. [drug for keeping ageing fighters alive]! Now let's get this over with!

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Paul: Music!

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He points at Michelle who is sitting at the keyboard, she being the only one who can play the piano, however, she only knows one tune.

Chopsticks blasts out of the speakers as Jin is dragged by Jun kicking and screaming like a girlie-girl down the isle.

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Jun: Poor baby, he must have got tangled up in his tie, we found him dangling from the banister in it.

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Kazuya: Kusobaba*, you should have left him there, it would have saved me some time.

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Soon Anna follows in what is supposed to be a wedding dress but more closely resembles a fur bikini, with her bridesmaids, Xiayu, Julia and Lee, close behind.

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Paul: _(disjointedly) _Weee are g-gathered here to. . . .day to joooiiiin in holy m-ma-mat. . .

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Jun: Sound it out.

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Paul: Mat-tri-mon-ey.

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He looks up, looking very pleased with himself, receiving rapturous applause from Jun.

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Julia: Could we get a priest who can actually read?!

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Heihachi: Oh screw it!

Anna, d'you wanna marry Jin?

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Anna: Yes, YES!!

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Heihachi: And Jin, do you wanna marry Nina2?

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Jin: No, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

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TO BE CONTINUED. . .

[Is Jin doomed to a life of massaging Anna's feet and buying her Feminax? Will he devise a plot to escape this horrible fate? Will I ever get on with the bloody story?? Maybe!!!]

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Hope you liked it, no offence to any Irish people by the way, I love dear old Irland! Oh, and happy St. Patrick's Day on the 17th (which consequently is my birthday). Hmmm, you don't have to get me a present but you could REVIEW!!!!!!. . .now.

*Dumbarse old lady.


	6. Divorce is Dandy!

Sorry that it's been a while since I last updated but I've been a busy bee revising for SATs. But I have managed to drag my arse to the computer screen to type out chapter. . . is it chapter 6 now? Yeah, anyway, here it is!

But First A Disclaimer ('cos I can't remember if this fic has one or not): So, believe it or not, I don't own Tekken, or even the title for that matter, to find out the hilarious context from which it came go to . (and before you ask, no, I am not promoting some personal homepage or something, it's just funny.)

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Divorce is Dandy!

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Heihachi: Well why the Hell not?! [if you have some kind of a memory you'll know that Jin is refusing to wed our in-house slut, Anna.]

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Jin: Because Anna's old and smells of men! And I was tricked into marrying her by Hwoarang!

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Julia: Then why is he your best man?

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Jin: _(to himself) _I knew picking my best man out of a hat was a bad idea.

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Bryan: Well, too bad. Married until proven single! It's the law.

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Jin: But I thought--

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Michelle: He's right, Jin, unless you have a good reason why not, you have to marry Anna.

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Jin: Uh, well then, ummmmm. . . I'm gay!

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Lee: _(interested) _Reeeeaaaaally?

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Jin: Uh, wait, no, what I meant to say was. . . uh, I'm already married!

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Kunamitsu: To who?!

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Jin: Ummmmmm. . . her!

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He points randomly into the crowd.

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Ganryu: I'm flattered, Jin, but--

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Jin: Fine then, HER!

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He points randomly into the crowd, again!

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Xiayu: Me?

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Jin: Sure.

Anna breaks down in sobs of despair.

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Anna: Jin! I thought we had something special!

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Jin: What?! I never had an actual conversation with you until two days ago!

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Anna: The most precious conversation of my life!

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Xiayu: But, Jin--

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Jin: Shut'cha face, Bitch!. . . . . . . . . . . . .Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitchims-snugglebuns.

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Jun: Why didn't you tell me, Jin??

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Jin: I. . .er, forgot.

Now come, Wifey-poo, let's go home and, er, bake.

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He gags the very confused Xiayu and drags her out of the shed.

Heihachi farts.

* * *

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Jin and Xiayu are in Jin's room.

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Xiayu: _(gagged)_ Jimphgmph!

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Jin: What'cha say?

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Xiayu: Umphitmph--

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She takes her gag off.

WE'RE NOT MARRIED!

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Jin: I know! I just said that so I didn't have to marry Anna.

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Xiayu: But you were such a, um, unique couple.

So what are you going to do?

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Jin: I've got it all planned out: we run away to Burkina Faso where we start a new life as emu farmers in its famous jungle desert forest swamp waste-land. And then one day we'll have a bunch'a Jin juniors fluttering around the house.

__

Xiayu simply sits there gaping.

****

Xiayu: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .OKAY!

****

TO BE CONTINUED. . .

[Tres exciting, eh? Well don't fear! There's more to come-- there'll be adventure, passion, drama, romance (and that's just the author's note) so read and review!!]


	7. An Announcement

Yay! Now that my mock SATs are finished, I'll be writing like a . . . .um. . . . fast writer. Anyway, we're on to chapter 7 now, and thank-you for reviewing!

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Makaveli: Thanks for reviewing my last 2 chappies, much appreciated!

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Lady Quiao: Lucky you, this chapter is all about Jin and Xiayu, but will they end up together? Who knows. Me! That's who! Mwah ha ha ha ha!!!

x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x

An Announcement

__

One year later, Jin and Xiayu sit lazily in front of a modest hut in the famous jungle desert forest swamp waste-lands of Burkina Faso surrounded by emus.

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Xiayu: Oh Jin, I could never have dreamt that a freak window-leaping accident could lead to me becoming the happiest emu-farmer in the whole of the jungle desert forest swamp waste-lands of Burkina Faso.

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Jin: I know what you mean -- those voices in my head stopped shouting abuse at me months ago and now they sing me easy-listening music.

__

Just at that moment, a huge Jeep comes crashing through the underbrush.

Heihachi leaps off the vehicle and stomps over to Jin and Xiayu, squishing several Emus along the way.

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Heihachi: Jin! Xiayu! Where have you been?! I've been looking everywhere for you!

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Jin: Really?

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Heihachi: No, I was actually looking for the remote, but since I found you maybe you'd like to know about the King of Fudge Fist Tournament I'm organising.

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Xiayu: King of _Fudge_ Fist? Wasn't it the King of Iron Fist?

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Heihachi: Yeah, but the Jacks, Yoshimitsu and Tetsujin considered it a racial slur so we had to change it.

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Jin: Well, it's nice of you to tell us, but Bitchums-Snugglebuns [which had become his pet-name for Xiayu since the un-wedding] and I,

__

He puts his arm around her Disney style.

we're not interested in glory, theme-parks or money anymore, we've become Peace Troopers, see, we got badges.

__

They show Heihachi their badges.

We even became vegetarians.

****

Heihachi: But you own an emu farm.

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Xiayu: Yeah, and?

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Heihachi: You farm emus.

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Jin: Well done! And dogs go meow.

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Heihachi: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. But anyway, these emus get sent to a slaughter house, killed and eaten.

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Jin: They told us they were being taken to a wildlife reserve!

__

Xiayu and Jin burst into tears.

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Xiayu: Speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeckles!

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Jin: We have nothing left to live for here! come on, Bitchums-Snugglebuns, let's go!

__

They climb into the Jeep with Heihachi, and chug back to, err, wherever it is the Tekken characters congregate.

* * *

__

Jin, Heihachi, Xiayu and Ogre (who came along because he also wanted to find the remote) are sitting in the Jeep.

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Xiayu: Jin.

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Jin: Yeeeeeeees, Bitchums-Snugglebuns.

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Xiayu: I'M PREGNANT!!

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Jin: What?!

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Xiayu: Je suis enciente! Ich bin schwanger! Soy Embarazdo! ego sum--

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Ogre: Okay, okay, I think he understands.

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Jin: No I don't.

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Xiayu: Urgh!

* * *

__

Five hours later, Jin is being pinned down by Ogre while Heihachi holds his eyes open and Xiayu creatively explains a few thing to him with the aid of hand-puppets. [And in case you were thinking it, there is NOTHING dirty going on here!!!]

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Xiayu: . . . and then the egg queen and the sperm fairy join forces to create a cute little baby.

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Jin: No more! No more! I understand!

* * *

__

Back in the Jeep, they finally arrive back at 'Tekken Island' shall we say?

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Jin: I'm gunna be a daddy!

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Xiayu: Jin, it's not yours.

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Jin: Hey, I bought this shirt fair and square.

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Xiayu: No, Jin, the baby, it's not yours.

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TO BE CONTINUED. . .

[Will Jin ever forgive Xiayu? Who's baby is it? Does this even make sense?? Find out in the next puke-curdling chapter of Jin's Random and Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure!]

@@@@@@@@@@@@

You already know what I'm gunna say so review already!


	8. To Baby or Not to Baby, That is the Ques...

I'm doing quite well now for updating stories, probably due to the fact that I'M ON MY EASTER HOLIDAYS!!! *boogies madly* and my dungeon-masters, I mean teachers cannot torture me with homework! So you should be seeing some serious updating soon!

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Makaveli: Thanks for another very flattering review (it'll get you everywhere don't'cha know?)!

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Lady Qiao: Yes, tres dramatique! All will be revealed very soon!

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Anyone else who's been reading (if there is anyone!): Thank-you! And read on. . .

To Baby or Not to Baby, That is the Question.

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Jin: WHAT?! Well if it's not my baby then whose is it?!?!

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Xiayu: It's. . . it's. . [oh the suspense]. . it's Hwoarang's!!!

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Jin: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

__

He leaps through the window.

* * *

__

Jin opens his eyes to find himself lying in a bed, a girl is leaning over him, trying to wake him up.

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Jin: Xiayu, you playa!

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He grabs her by the neck and begins to strangle her.

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Girl: _(in rhythm with being shaken by the throat) _Eh-eh-Jin-stop-it-I'm-*cough*-not-Xia-yu-ehhh

__

She falls to the floor unconscious.

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Jin: _(shouting)_ Heellllllllooooo-ooooooo! Hey! Wo-ho! can someone come in here and clean up this mess?!

* * *

__

It is a day later, after it has been explained to Jin (once again with the insightful use of hand puppets) that the girl he very nearly killed was not Xiayu, but Julia.

The characters around in a lounge/game room.

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Jin: _(to Xiayu)_ I can't believe you would do something like this . . . . . . . .we raised those emus together!

****

Xiayu: Sorry, Jin. But I think Hwoarang and I are soulmates.

__

They look across the room to see Hwoarang with a can of beer in one hand belching the alphabet to rapturous applause.

Jin and Xiayu sweatdrop.

****

Jin: Wait a sec, we hadn't seen Hwoarang for over a year, how are you pregnant with his baby?

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Xiayu: Hmmm, maybe I went a little too in-depth with that sex ed.. But you're right! _(to the author)_ Hey, you lazy author! What's with this?! How can I be having Hwoarang's baby?!

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Kayochen (the author): Um, well, you see. . . Hey! Why should I take abuse from you?! I'm writing this fic, dammit! I control you!!!

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Xiayu: What?? Are you scared?! You're not even a good writer! Yu can'te spel 2 sayv yor lyfe! You use, commas inappropriately. seriouslyyou dont havea clue when itcomes 2 grammar? Say no characters sense what of your makes!!

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Kayochen: I'm the big, important writer and I'm sick of you!

__

Xiayu suddenly falls through the floorboards.

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Jin: Hey! You can't just--

__

A piano crashes through the ceiling and lands inches from Jin.

****

_(stunned)_. . . Like I was saying, great fic.

* * *

__

Nine months later!

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Xiayu: I think my water just broke!

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King: To the hospital!

* * *

__

The Tekken characters are sitting in a hospital waiting room.

Anna bursts out of the maternity ward.

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Anna: It's a. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . false alarm. She's just wet her pants.

****

Julia: Again?!

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Jin: This is the sixth time today!

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TO BE CONTINUED. . . 

[Will Xiayu stop wetting her pants and just have the goddamn baby already? Will Jin ever start doing anything in the story again? What the Hell happened to the King Of Fudge Fist Tournament?? All these random questions will be answered when _Jin's Random and Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure _continues!!!]


	9. Who Loves Ya, Pretty Baby?

Hello again! Everyone stand up and cheer if you like this fic! Go on, I can see you there, with that rubbish around the computer! How long have you been there anyway? Isn't it time you did something? If not then enjoy this chapter!

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Serini the Wave Trapmaster: I think I forgot to give you a mention in the last chapter! Sorry, I never expected to get this many reviewers and I'm finding it hard to keep track of them all (shows how organised I am)! And sorry to hear about my fic's, er, accident, looks like Xiayu isn't the only one with potty problems! And I give my Brownie promise (and yes, I was a Brownie once upon a time) that I will include your weapons of mass destruction (you should see those fan girls when they get angry!) at some point in the story.

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Lady Qiao: Thankies! I am very appreciative of your reviews, and I haven't decided whether Jin will end up with Xiayu . . .let's have a vote! **Anyone giving a review** write at the bottom 'yes' if you want Xiayu to end up with Jin and 'no' if you don't (and if you want you can give some alternative suggestions); eg.

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Reviewer

Wow! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST FIC I'VE EVER READ!!!!! You should be a professional!! I mean it!!!!!! In fact, I think I'll give you a job!!! Horray! Now you're rich and famous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no

Jin should end up with Ganryu and become a male stripper. . . and include details.

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Forevermore: Heh heh, I just love jokes about people wetting their pants. . . what a rich sense of humour I have.

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Mekitsu: You're probably not reading this chapter yet but when you do, THANK-YOU!

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Anyone else reading: Read on!

Now that has to be a record for the longest ramblings of an author ever, so I'll shut up now and get on with the story.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Who Loves Ya, Pretty Baby?

__

They're all in the lounge [do these people have lives??]_._

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Xiayu: My water just broke!

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All: _(sarcastically)_ Uh-huh.

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Xiayu: No, I don't think it's me wetting my pants this time, this is the real thing!

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Angel: Yunno, Law, you really haven't been making much progress with her and those potty training lessons.

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Xiayu: Jin! Jin, pu-leeeeeeeaaase, OW, drive me to the hospital.

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Jin: Let me see. . . . . . . . . . . . no.

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Xiayu: WHY THE HELL NOT?!

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Jin: Hmm, could it be that you cheated on me with my hated rival and enemy and are pregnant with his child?

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Xiayu: Hwoarang! You've got to take me! You're the father.

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Hwoarang: WHAT??!!

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Michelle: Didn't you know?

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Hwoarang: NO!!

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Ganryu: Everyone else did.

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Hwoarang: Hold on a sec -- Xiayu! I haven't even spoken to you for almost two years.

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Xiayu: You did once, but that was only to say, 'Less talk, more action.'.

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Hwoarang: I guess I could have been outrageously drunk.

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Xiayu: Six times?

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Jin: Wha'?!

****

Hwoarang: _(blushing) _Fine! I'll drive you to the stupid hospital!

* * *

__

Ten hours later, the characters are yet again in the hospital waiting room.

Anna bursts through the door sweating, with her outfit stained red.

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Anna: It was a long and gruelling operation, but we finally did it. . . . . . . . . . . . . . we ate an entire bucket of spare ribs without licking our lips.

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Armour King: The baby! What about the baby?!

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Anna: Oh, that! We delivered that hours ago.

_They all make a rush through the door and stare wide-eyed at the baby._

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Hwoarang: That's not my child.

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Heihachi: That's not human.

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Jin: Well, if it's not Hwoarang's then whose is it?!?!?!?

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Xiayu: I don't know, I just assumed it was Hwoarang's.

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Bryan: Why? It has no logic behind it!!

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Jin: Perhaps not, but I'm going to stick by Xiayu with this baby, for better or for worse.

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Heihachi: _(looking at the baby) _I think the worse part has already happened.

But anyway, we've postponed the tournament for long enough. Let's get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmble!!

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King: I think the WWE have copyright on that.

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Heihachi: Fine, let's get ready to, er, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmble!!

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TO BE CONTINUED. . .

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I've said enough so I'm just gunna tell you to review, and remember to vote!


	10. A Blast From the Arse, I Mean Past

Sorry that I haven't updated for a aaaaages but I've been doing other stuff. Anyway, I'm not going to spend ages on an introduction, so I'll just say thanks to all you reviewers and get on with chapter 10.

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Makaveli: Thanks, on with the story!

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Lady Qiao: Danke shön, but the vote is about even-stevens at the moment so I still don't know if they'll end up together. . . in fact I don't even know when this fic is going to end!

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LiquidSky: Ah yes, the horrors of kanoodling. Thank-you! (for when you get to this chapter)

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Serini the WaveTrapmaster: Weapons of mass destruction it is then! Don't worry, the weapons will come in very handy when the tournament rolls around!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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A Blast From the Arse, I Mean Past.

__

Jin skips into the lounge where most of the fighters are, er, lounging.

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Jin: Yay! I'm fighting True Ogre first round of the tournament!

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Paul: Why are you so happy about it? He almost destroyed the world!

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Jin: Yeah, you wouldn't have thought he'd be such a wimp in real life.

Who are you fighting first round?

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Paul: Unknown.

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Jin: Well, then go and check on the notice board.

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Paul: No, the person I'm fighting is Unknown.

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Jin: Yeah, so go check on the board, all the fixtures are written there.

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Paul: Look! You don't understand, the name of the person I'm fighting is Unknown!

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Jin: SO GO AND CHECK THE FRICKIN BOARD!!

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Paul: Why do I bother?

__

Paul walks off.

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Jin: _(to his hand) _Let's go find Xiayu and ask her who she's fighting.

__

He skips (yes skips) around the building calling for Xiayu.

Bitchums-Snugglebuns? Oh, Bitchums-Snugglebuns, where are yoooooouuuuuu?

__

He reaches the door to her room and bursts in.

Bitchums-Snuggle-- AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!

__

Xiayu and Hwoarang are once again kanoodling!

Jin breaks down in tears.

How could you do this to me?! I thought you loved me!!

****

Hwoarang: Well, thing is, Jin, I like you as a friend. . . well I don't, but that's besides the point. . . but I don't think I really like you in that way.

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Jin: Not you! Xiayu! I hate you!!!

__

He runs out of the room yodelling.

****

Xiayu and Hwoarang: Oh well!

__

They continue kanoodling.

* * *

__

Jin is in his room weeping into a pillow.

The ugly UGLY child enters.

****

Ugly Baby: Jin? 

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Jin: Ah! It talks!!

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Ugly Baby: Let's not dwell on plot-holes, I have something far more important to tell you.

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Jin: I'm really a woman?!!

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Ugly Baby: Um . . . . noooooo.

What I wanted to tell you is that I am your child! [Dum dum dummmmmmm!]

__

Jin leaps through the window.

The ugly Baby pops his head through the ready-made Jin-shaped hole which has been installed in every window within a 10km radius of the Tekken house to protect Jin's fragile iccle body.

****

Jin: But how?? You're so ugly and I'm so beautiful.

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Ugly Baby: Ever heard of a little thing called genotype and phenotype?. . . . Okay, so I guess that's two things.

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Jin: No.

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Ugly Baby: Well neither have I, but the long and short of it is that you did not always possess your bum-bursting good looks.

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Jin: _(distracted) _Wha'?

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Ugly Baby: Yes. Think back, Jin, way back.

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Jin: _(still distracted) _Wha'?

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Ugly Baby: Are you even listening to me?

__

He turns to see Jin doing a tribal rain-dance.

JIN!

****

Jin: Wha'?

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Ugly Baby: _(eyebrow twitch) _Anyway, why do you think you didn't appear in the series until you were at the ripe old age of eighteen, while other characters, Jack 2 for example, entered the series when they were still in swaddling bands!? . . . Literally! Yes, that certainly caused a few mishaps.

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Jin: Um. . . . . . 'cos I only became a fighter after Ogre killed my ma?

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Ugly Baby: That's only what they wanted you to think! How is your mother still alive in just about every fic then? Hmmm??

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Jin: Er. . . . . because she's a useful character in adding structure in the topsy-turvey (and highly illogical) world of the Tekken fighters and acts as a mediator in my life of battling, betrayal and hate. . . come to think of it, shouldn't I have been clinically insane by the time I reached eighteen, after all, I've been through a lot of traumatic--

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Ugly Baby: NO!! I mean, no, Jin. The reason you only came into the game when you turned eighteen is because that is the legal age at which you can get plastic surgery without parental consent!!

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Jin: Yes! It all makes sense now!. . . . . You mean?--

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Ugly Baby: Yes, Jin, you were once. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ugly.


	11. Yo' Mama

I'm ba-aaaaack! No, don't run away in terror for I bring another chapter! I decided we've seen enough of Jin for now, so here it is: the first chapter of this entire fic which features absolutely NO Jin! Now, I know many of you are now beating your key-boards yelling 'Why? WHY??!!' But fear not, for he'll be back soon, pumped and ready for action!

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Serini the WaveTrapmaster: Riiiiiiiiiiiight. . . I didn't understand a word of that, but thanks anyhow! And I had no idea who rurioni kenshin was but I did a little research with the use of Google image search and found rurouni kenshin. . . who appears to be a bloke with a X scar. . . whatever! ^_~X -- hee hee, note the X scar

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Makaveli: Awwww, you're so nice to me! I'm glad to hear your mum liked it! And I have granted your request with another chappie!

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Chibi-Sugababy: Thanks a lot, I also liebe Ugly Baby. It's nice to be getting new reviewers this far into the story!

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Lady Qiao: Who knows if Jin and Xiayu will get back together. . . . . . . you'll just have to wait to find out. . . . . . . . . . (I just love annoying my readers).

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Disclaimer: Don't own it, never have, never will, but want to!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Yo' Mama

__

In the sparring room of the Mishima castle, all of the characters are gathered and listening to / throwing fruit at Heihachi.

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Heihachi: My friends!--

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Random Crowd Member: HA!

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Heihachi: Fine!

My casual acquaintances! Welcome to The King Of Fudge Fist Tournament . . .

__

He thinks (ee-gad!) for a few seconds, having made a mistake, then continues.

. . . first annual!

****

Random Crowd Member: Yoda is among us!

****

Heihachi: Anyway, I have gathered you, the finest warriors in the world, here today so that you can beat each other into bleeding pulps for sport!

__

A pause.

Crickets chirp, Law coughs, somewhere in the distance a wolf howls and one of Tiger's spare afros rolls across the hall.

(to himself) I knew I shouldn't have hired Jin to write my speech for me.

_(to the crowd) _The blood-ba-- tournament will commence with Ganryu--

****

Random Crowd Member: He's your boyfrie--

__

Before they have a chance to finish, Heihachi whips out a gun and shoots them dead.

****

Heihachi: Ganryu versus Michelle!

__

A slip of paper is passed forward to Heihachi. He reads it.

Okay, scratch that. Due to legal reasons, the first match is being revised.

__

A tournament official comes on stage and whispers something in his ear.

Instead it will be Ganryu versus Xiayu!

****

Random Crowd Member: Haha! careful not to put them on the same bench pre-fright -- he might sit on her!

****

Heihachi: Why won't you die!!??

__

He commences to pump bullets into the crowd member, after which he leaps into the crowd and begins pummelling them.

****

Eddy: Errr, Heihachi? You just killed your mother.

__

A pause.

****

Heihachi: I know.

* * *

__

Xiayu and Ganryu are poised and ready to begin their fight in the castle's sparring area.

****

Irritating Narrator: Fight!

****

Ganryu: Hey, Little Baby! Where's your mama?

****

Xiayu: She's right over there.

__

She points to a sweet-looking Chinese woman who waves.

Ganryu is a little fazed.

****

Ganryu: Yeah, well. . . yo' mama's so old. . . . erm. . . she's so old that. . . let's see here, was it? Maybe?

__

Xiayu is evidently growing impatient.

****

Ganryu: Okay. I've got it: Yo' mama is so old that she makes Jesus look old. . . . . wait, was that it? No, maybe Moses, or was it something about an ark?

__

Xiayu let's out a primal cry [I know what you're thinking (because I can read minds, mwah ha ha ha!), you're thinking, 'What the Hell is a primal cry, and how is it any different from a normal cry??' well, there is no difference, but it just sounds better] Anyway, she lets out a PRIMAL cry and punches Ganryu it the nose.

****

Crowd: Yay!

__

After he has recovered, Ganryu grabs Xiayu by the bunchies, lifts her off the floor, spins he around and throws her across the room. [Don'tcha wish the real Tekken fights were this exciting?]

****

Ganryu: I've remembered it!! Yo' mama is so old, she makes Jesus look young!

****

Crowd: Ooooooooooo

****

Xiayu: Watcha talkin' bout my mama?? Well, yo' mama is so FAT, when I wanna pass her on da highway, I have to leave da road!

****

Crowd: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Ganryu: Don't talk about my mama you little munchkin!

__

He makes a run at her and they commence to have a rather grisly bitch fight.

****

Crowd: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. . .

****

TO BE CONTINUED. . .

[What the Hell is going on? What's with the crappy 'yo' mamam' jokes? Since when did any of the fighters have parents? None of these questions, but probably some different ones, will be answered in the next chapter of Jin's Random And Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure!!]


	12. The Return of Super Jin!

Aaauuughh! the gaps between updates are growing ever bigger! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry! But I've been so busy now that I'm back at school. And I fear that with my oncoming SATs, that it's gunna be even harder for me to update. Soooooooooooooo I propose another vote, either I can carry on updating the way I am (ie. scrambling to the keyboard to type it up every few weeks) or I can slice the chapters in half and in theory that should mean I'll be updating twice as often (in theory communism works). So it's up to YOU to decide, so when you review write 'halve' at the end if you think I should chop 'em, or alternatively write 'leave them be, oh Evil Chopper Of Chapters!'

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Makaveli: Danke! I love this story too, sorry that I couldn't quite fulfil that 'update soon' request! ^ ~

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Kawaii Ed: Thanks. I _think _I remembered to review one of your fics, let me check . . . yes! I did, wow, I'm quite impressed with myself! I usually never remember stuff! but where's that update I demanded, eh??

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ChibiShiva: Hee hee. Get up! You're wearing a hole in the carpet from all that rolling around! But thank-you!

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Lady Qiao: Your wish is my command, oh Great Chap Reviewer!

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

The Return of Super Jin!

__

Picking up where we left off, Xiayu and Ganryu are still slapping away.

Two Jerry Springer oompa-lumpas (the security people were replaced by oompa-Lumpas because they're cuter) attempt to break up the fight. One, however, is sucked into Ganryu's rolls of flab, and the other cowars in the corner.

****

Crowd: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. . . 

__

Kazuya enters.

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Crowd: Kazuya, Kazuya, Kazuya. . .

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Kazuya: Shut the Hell up! And you two, what are ya, five?!

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Ganryu: I thought the host was supposed to be understanding and compassionate.

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Kazuya: Yeah, well I'm demanding and passionate. . . . . when it comes to rage.

__

A laughter sign above the arena blinks and the audience begin laughing hysterically, though most of them are already crying hysterically anyway.

Once Xiayu and Ganryu have sat down Kazuya begins.

Welcome to Kazuya Mishima, and today's--

__

An oompa-lumpa walks into the arena and says something to Kazuya.

****

Since that title doesn't fit legibly on to a TV screen, it is being shortened to _(through his teeth) _'Kazzy Mishma'.

__

Applause sigh blinks and (guess what!) the audience applauds.

Anyway, in today's fight we have _(reading from cue card) _'My fighting opponent is fat. . . . . he's also ugly, smelly, wears a nappy, never bathes, is annoying, dumb, has no friends-- Xiayu!

__

He turns to see Xiayu trying to hide a pen behind her back.

Man, this goes on for pages.

Anyway, let's get start with you, Ganryu. When did you first meet Xiayu?

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Ganryu: When I peeled her off my shoe at the . . . second, I think, King of Iron Fist Tournament, I had stepped on her.

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Kazuya: _(bored) _Oh. what a riveting life you do lead. _(to audience) _This is boring, go home, Everyone.

__

Just as the audience is getting up to leave, a crash is heard from above and Jin leaps through the roof (not the window this time) in the form of. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SUPER JIN!!!!! (with a bag over his head).

_The audience applauds and wolf whistles._

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Xiayu: Jin, what are you--

__

After him leaps Super-Sidekick Ugly Baby!!!

The audience applauds even more, and anyone who wolf-whistles is arrested on charges of being a paedophile.

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Xiayu: Where have you been, Young Man??

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Jin: Well first I was weeping in my room, then--

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Xiayu: Not you! The baby!

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Ugly Baby: Ummmmm, I was just, ummmmm. . .

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Jin: He's been with me the whole time, I swear it, Officer!

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Xiayu: And Jin, what's with the bag on your head?

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Jin: Well, it's a piece of brown paper which is folded into a cube shape with one open side, and it's used to hold various items, food, equipment, heads--

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Xiayu: No, Baka! Why are you wearing it?!!?

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Jin: Because I couldn't find a box.

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Kazuya: What's with the frickin bag, Mo-ron!?

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Jin: Well, that's what Poo-Faced Xiayu Grrl should have been asking.

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Xiayu: Rrrrrrrrrr!!

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Jin: Well, Poo-Faced Xiayu Grrl, there's something you should know, I. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Xiayu!!!

__

Xiayu is drawing a moustache and glasses on the sleeping Ganryu in permanent ink.

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Xiayu: _(obviously not listening) _Yeah, yeah, I'm listening. . .

__

She continues drawing.

Ganryu inhales the pen.

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Jin: Xiayuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!

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Xiayu: Yeah!

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Jin: I. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . am ugly!

__

He tries to rip the bag off but it gets caught.

Ow, ow, ow.

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Ugly Baby: What? Where?

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Jin: On my ear, it's. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ow, ow.

__

They finally tear it off to reveal a big, ugly, spotty mass of original Jin.

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Xiayu: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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Kazuya: Now _this_ is a show!

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TO BE CONTINUED. . .

[How dramatic!! How will Jin cope with being ugly? Why on earth would he want to be ugly anyway? Are you implying that there's something wrong with ugly people???!!! Find out next chapter!]

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Yay! I'm enjoying this story myself, but you've got to do your bit and review! I went to the trouble of writing it after all, you lazy, good for nothings! Just kidding, I love you all! Remember to vote, and I'm very very very sorry if it takes a while for me to update, I have a good reason, ummmmmm, my dog ate it!


	13. Le Grand Finalé

Yo yo ma homies! ^^ Little did you know that this chapter is going to be le grand finalé! That's right! This is the last and final chapter of _Jin's Random and Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure_. . . EVER! Doesn't it make you just wanna cry? No? Well it will once you've read it!!

Grr, I am very angry. My STUPID computer decided to crash just as I was typing the words 'The End.' so the whole chapter got erased! And now I had to write it ALL out again! Then it crashed AGAIN! And I lost even more of my work! Then I grew a brain and started saving at regular intervals. AND I will have to post this later because the Internet isn't working either! Poor Kayochen.

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Kawaii Ed: Whoops! I forgot to read your new chapter! SOOOOOORRYYYY! ;^^ I promise to read as soon as I've written this chapter, and as for reading your other story, we'll have to see, won't we? ^_~

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whatever: I really liked your idea, why don't you use it for a story? I wouldn't mind you using the ugly Jin thing, after all you were generous enough to share your idea with me. I kind of adapted your idea for the story, so loadsa thanks!

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NextBigThing1: If you like the endless Jin/Hwoarang bickering then you'll love this chapter!

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Makaveli: Even though all my reviewers have been great (I love you all!) I am awarding you my special KittyKat Review Award

*~*~* ,,^. .^,, *~*~*

You are the first ever recipient of this award! Horray! Because not only have you been a very faithful, constructive and best of all flattering ^~ reviewer, you also wrote one of the funniest fics I've ever read! Everyone check out Makaveli's WORK IT OUT. By the way, this award is nothing serious, just for fun! 

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Lady Qiao: Erm, of course I have a dog. . . okay! No, I've never had a dog in my life! I'm sorry! Let's face it, I'm a cat person. Which would explain the screenname (it means kitten). Yes, Jin is ugly (I like 'im better that way). And yes, I'm very sorry, Sir, I'm making excuses again *cowars in corner*.

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Forevermore: Flattery flattery flattery! . . . I want more! Hee hee, thank-you, I'll be sure to check out your fic, and yes, being the final chapter this one does have the Kayochen seal of approval! In case I forget, remind me to read you fic when you review. infact, all these reviews have been so nice I promise to read a fic by every single person who reviews this chapter, just remember to remind me (I'm forgetful don'tcha know?) ;^^.

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Serini the WaveTrapmaster: I finally included your ideas!

Kayochen Seal of Approval

,,^. .^,,

ÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏ

Le Grand Finalé!

__

Back where we left off.

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Jin: That's right! I'm ugly!

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Xiayu: Jin, there's something I need to tell you too. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm fat!!!

__

She pulls off a corset and huge galumphing rolls of fat cascade over her shoes.

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Jin: We're kindred spirits!

__

The two run to eachother and embrace, or they would if Jin didn't bounce of Xiayu every time he tried.

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Ganryu: Yes!! Finally! I'm not the fattest one in the game!

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Xiayu: Get lost, Fatarse!

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Ganryu: Dammit.

__

Skulks off.

Hwoarang, who is in the audience, leaps up.

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Hwoarang: HA HA HA HA! The tables seem to have turned, my plump-buttocksed NON-friend! Remember when you dumped me because I was half ferret and had a little excess body hair? Well now it's my turn! You're dumped! I wouldn't take you back if you begged me whilst doing a no-handed cartwheel (à la Kunimitsu) on an elephant and burping the Russian alphabet backwards!

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Xiayu: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 'Kay.

__

She begins to passionately kiss Jin.

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Hwoarang: Hey, Jin! Xiayu's my woman!

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Jin: It's Super Jin!

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Hwoarang: I don't care!!

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Jin: Fine, bring it on!

__

He rips off his leopard-print Super Jin tank-top and whips out a big badass sword. [told'ja I'd include your ideas eventually, Serini!]

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Hwoarang: Hahaha! Your plan has back-fired! Though your face is unnaturally repulsive, your perfectly toned and oh-so-slippery body is more than enough to fuel my secret weapon!

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Xiayu: Hwoarang, no! A force like that could destroy us all!!!

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Hwoarang: I'm sorry, Xiayu. But desperate plotlines call for desperate measures!

__

He unleashes a horde of rabid, hormonally charged fangirls armed with weapons of mass destruction (though the fangirls themselves are enough to chew through an area of bishoujin the size of Africa.)

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Jin: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! NOT THE FANGIRLS!!!

__

They stampede towards him armed with kinky, not to mention badly rendered, fanart and custom-made 'Jin rox my sox!' socks.

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Ugly Baby: Hey, Ladies! Feast you eyes on THIS!

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He leaps at Hwoarang and rips off all his clothes except his custom-made 'Jin rox my sox!' socks.

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Ugly Baby: I'm not even gunna ask.

__

All the rabid fangirls spin round and hurl themselves at the neked (courtesy of mr. Justin Timberlake) Hwoarang.

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Hwoarang: _(drowning in a sea of rabid and heavily armed fangirls) _Help me! Someone get me a plastic surgeon!

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Julia: _(who is in the crowd) _I'm a plastic surgeon!

__

The rest of the characters stare at her in disbelief.

What? I do do things in between fights, you know!

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Tiger: Really? 'Cos the rest of us don't.

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Julia: You mean you all just sit around doing nothing until you have to fight?

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Anna: . . . . well, I'm a nurse.

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Paul: And I'm a part-time priest.

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Lee: And I enjoy baking, long luxurious bubble baths, romantic novels, chocolate, and long walks on the beach.

__

The male portion of the crowd begin backing towards the exit.

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Hwoarang: Hello! Drowning bishoujin here!

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Julia: Oh yeah! Anna, didn't you say you were a nurse? you can help me. Quickly, there's not much time, we've got to get moving. If we don't do something quickly he'll be done for. Come on! Let's go, we've got to act quickly, his life is--

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Hwoarang: _(very nearly submerged) _JULIA!!

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Julia: Oh yeah.

__

Julia and Anna run to the now submerged Hwoarang. Julia begins pulling weeping fangirls out of the way. Anna move one custom-made 'Jin rox my sox!' sock but does nothing else for fear of chipping a nail.

Once Julia has reached Hwoarang she manages to compress what would have been a long and icky operation into a five minute blood-bath. Anna hands her a few tools (chainsaw, pick axe etc.) but doesn't do anything else because, after five years as a nurse, she realises she is squeamish.

The completed Hwoarang is uglier than Jin and Ugly Baby put together and fatter than Xiayu and Ganryu put together.

The fangirls immediately scatter.

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Hwoarang: Xiayu, go to Jin, he loves you. I have found the girl I love, she saved my life. . .

__

Julia smiles.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Anna!

__

He grabs Anna and snogs her custom-made 'Jin rox my sox!' socks off.

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Jin: I love you, Xiayu!

__

He grabs one of her many rolls of flab and snogs its custom-made 'Jin rox my flab!' flab retainers off.

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Kazuya: Wow! What a great show!! So what have you all learnt from this?

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Hwoarang: _(taking a break from snogging Anna's custom-made 'Jin rox my sox!' socks off) _Always settle for less!

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Julia: Saving lives has no reward.

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Ganryu: It's not because I'm fat that everyone hates me, it's because I'm me!

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Xiayu: I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Gun Jack: No one's ever going to write a fic about me.

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Jin: I like toast.

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Ugly Baby: No! The moral of the story is that looks don't matter!

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Kazuya: Awww, what a touching sentiment.

None of you are featuring in the next game though.

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All: What!?!

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Kazuya: Well, I'm gunna be Frank--

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Jin: Can I be Barbera?

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Kazuya: What? No, I'm gunna be blunt--

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Hwoarang: Well, we always knew you weren't the sharpest pickle in the pony.

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Kazuya: No! I mean I'm gunna be straight with you--

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Xiayu: I like you too, Kazuya, but I'm with Jin now, and besides, you're married. When were you gay anyway?

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Kazuya: NO, IDIOTS! YOU'RE ALL--

__

Psycho cackling.

The characters turn round to see the army of rabid fangirls, led by Humphrey the ghost worm, enraged with no one worthy of their worship, holding their various weapons of mass destruction above their heads.

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Jin: Humphrey! What are you doing??!!

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Humphrey: You told me I was the only worm you'd ever love, Jin! That's what you said! And you didn't even avenge my death!!!!

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Jin: But Hwoarang is my friend now.

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Humphrey: Don't you remember anything???? It wasn't Hwoarang who killed me, it was you!!?? It all started as an innocent game of 'make Humphrey jump through the ring of fire' but soon it turned into a marmalade-sodden disaster! You yanked away the hoop before I was through and I went straight out the window. WE WERE ON THE SEVENTH FLOOR!!

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Xiayu: That would explain your erratic habit of leaping through windows!

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Hwoarang: No, he's being doing that for years.

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Humphrey: FIVE. . . FOUR. . . THREE. . . TWO. . .

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Ugly Baby: Humphrey! Rabid fangirls! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Humphrey: . . . ONE!

__

Boom.

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NOT TO BE CONTINUED.

[Will there be a _Jin's Random and Severely Disturbed Super-Dooper Adventure 2_? Will the Tekken characters ever do anything again? No. Because they're dead.]

**__**

THE END

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Well there ya' go! The story has ended! If you didn't like the ending, tough poo! Because that's the ending and I'm sticking to it. Well, no I'm not. If you REALLY don't want the world to be blown up by rabid fangirls clad in 'Jin rox my sox!' socks then tell me in your review and I might write an alternate ending. Byebye for now though, you've all been so nice to me throughout this fic!


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